I wish I wasn't so popular.
And that's not false humility;
rather a deep desire to be shut down.
I wish that there was no need for my website.
That there was no need for me to share my story.
That men would wake up and repent,
that women would be healed,
that marriages would be restored,
and that I wouldn't have an audience.
I wish that I never receive another email from
a broken and devastated woman whose
world has just been rocked by porn.
I wish that I never have to sit and hold back
the tears (sometimes failing) as I read the
pages and pages of pain that you all share
I wish that my story was one in a million.
maybe 1 in 6 billion.
But I am discovering that my story is much
more common than I would have every imagined
and my website has become more popular than
I ever wanted it to.
I recently got excited that my website is getting
more and more traffic. Being a simple stay-at-home
momma with no network connections, I never
expected that my writings would become
popular with women all around the world.
And as I found myself feeling good about my
accomplishments, I realized that my achievements
and popularity are only due to your heartache.
And for that, my heart aches.
While my popularity grows, so does the number
of women who are finding themselves in the
Finding themselves desperately calling out for
a rescue as they are drowning in a sea of
It's a burden that I was not ready to bear.
It's not that I don't want to hear from you; I do.
I just wish you weren't in the circumstance that
you would need to seek out help because your
husband has betrayed you sexually.
It's not that I don't enjoy writing and sharing my story.
I just wish it was something different. Like how to do
homeschooling crafts or how to cook food in the
crock-pot or how to tandem nurse twins. Stuff that I'm
pretty good at but doesn't deal with earth-shattering pain.
But, alas, this is the ministry God has given me.
This is the way God allowed me to suffer. Partly so
that I can help you. This is the suffering He has
allowed in your life at this time.
I'm not sure why.
Perhaps He knows you are the
best possible resource to rescue your husband
this darkness that is pornography.
Perhaps He knows that you are tenderhearted
and will be willing to share your story once you've
found healing and your marriage has been restored.
Perhaps He knows that your relationship with
your husband can be strengthened and purified
through suffering and He is going to bless you with
the amazing gift of a renewed marriage.
Or perhaps He is simply going to glorify Himself.
I don't know.
But I do know that you are not alone.
I am here to share what God has done in our
marriage and what has worked for me (which,
please know, may not be the best option for
I'm here to encourage you with Scripture and
give you hope...
There is hope in Christ that there is healing
after pornography has ravaged your marriage.
There is hope in Christ that your husband will be delivered.
There is hope in Christ that you can trust again.
There is hope in Christ that you can love again.
There is hope in Christ that your husband will
desire you again.
There is hope in Christ that you will stop crying.
There is hope in Christ that you will stop hating.
There is hope in Christ that you will be able to control
There is hope in Christ that your husband can be
There is hope in Christ that you will laugh again.
There is hope.
By His wounds, we are healed.
Walking in Freedom,
Posted by Kristina Croft.