Jesus came to pardon our sins, but He also came to heal the brokenhearted so we can walk in freedom.  Freedom from pain, guilt, shame, sin, and condemnation. By His wounds we are healed. May God continue to bless us on the path to complete restoration and healing in Him.  

After All This Time

April 18, 2017
It was a harmless comment.
He didn't mean it the way I took it.
But it began a spiral of emotions that took me to a place of anxiety and fear.
A place I haven't gone in quite some time.
A place that I thought was long forgotten.
Yet there I was, lying in the dark, feeling overwhelmed by thoughts of distrust.
Overwhelmed by worry about my body, my age, my performance.
Worry about his faithfulness.
Why would such a small thing cause me to spiral out of control like that?
Because I was not being diligent. 
We were not being diligent.
We had allowed life, a busy-chaotic-beautiful life, to bog us down and distract us
from being... well... intimate. 
We had allowed our focus to stray from our relationship with each other to our
relationship with our children, our church, our friends. None of which are bad
things in themselves. But when they replace the focus of our relationship with
each other, we open ourselves up to trouble. 
And trouble is what we found that night.
Even after all this time.
Even after all the healing.
Even after the grace and the forgiveness.
Our lack of intimacy had actually placed a small bomb in my heart, waiting for the
right moment to explode. 
Not having real conversations. TICK!
Not sharing God's Word together. TOCK!
Not touching each other. TICK!
Not dating each other. TOCK!
Not praying together. TICK!
Not kissing each other. TOCK!
Not having sex. BOOM!

A recipe for disaster. And we didn't even see it coming. We didn't even realize what we
were doing. We have five amazing children. I homeschool. He pastors a church. We have 
a busy schedule. Sometimes we don't get to say two words without an interuption. And
by the time the kids are all asleep, we want to crash. Life. But guess what? That's not
an excuse. It's not an excuse to stop talking. It's not an excuse to stop encouraging 
each other in the Word and in prayer. It's not an excuse to stop being intimate.
Every marriage needs to take special time and care to keep intimacy a priority - 
emotionally, spiritually, and physically. But a marriage that has been through sexual
betrayal and found healing... it requires that much more diligence. Because even after
all this time, the Enemy knows the best way to get under my skin. The quickest way
to take me out of the game. Thankfully, my husband and I were able to recognize the
spiral and were able to end it quickly. We were able to talk about how far we'd let
ourselves get away from our diligence and we made a plan to get back on track.

The plan?
Have real conversations.
Share God's Word together.
Touch each other.
Date each other.
Pray together.
Kiss each other.
Have sex.
Sounds simple enough but it will require effort. It won't just happen. We must be
diligent once again. I am so thankful that God allowed us to have this brief moment
of heartache to wake us up to the laziness that had grown between us. And now
we can get back to work on keeping our marriage a focus and a top priority.

By His Wounds We are Healed,


Confession is Good for the Soul

April 9, 2015

Is there a confession that’s any more daunting for a wife than to tell someone about her husband's porn addiction? Or any addiction for that matter?

It’s just the worst!

When I found out my husband had been looking at porn for years, I was utterly humiliated. Not only did I have to deal with the shame and pain in my marriage, but I was so afraid to talk to anyone about it.  Would anyone even understand?? In our hyper-sex-driven culture, would anyone even care? Almost every TV show makes...

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Podcast with Porn to Purity

April 6, 2015
Four years ago we participated in a podcast with Jeff and Marsha Fisher from Porn to Purity and I wanted to share it with you again. It's been several years since I listened to the interview and I had forgotten how powerful one story of brokenness and healing can really be. If you've just started this journey of healing or if you're in the thick of it, I hope that you can find some encouragement and wisdom through this interview to help you along the way. Please contact us if we can pray with...
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The Bitterness Bully

September 3, 2014

Bitterness is a bully. It spits in the face of your spouse, slaps him around a bit, and leaves him feeling humiliated. Bitterness has no place in marriage.

When you’ve been betrayed or offended by your spouse (or anyone else for that matter!), it is far too easy to let bitterness take hold in your heart. You say you forgive them outwardly, but inwardly, you cling to your pain and you refuse to let it go. As bitterness begins to grow, your heart begins to harden towards the person you love....

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Sorry, I've Been Sick

July 30, 2014
Hi friends. 

Please forgive me for not posting in such a long while. I have been so sick for about two weeks, along with all four of my kiddos. It was awful. But we are on the mend. My cough is still lingering but hopefully it will clear up soon.

Anyway. I am still praying for you all and thinking of you. Please feel free to contact me anytime if you need to chat or for prayer. 

New posts coming soon!
Walking in Freedom,
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You Don't Have to Try so Hard

July 13, 2014

I saw this video today and I was blown away by it.

At first I thought about showing it to my daughter and talking to her about the beauty that is within her, that gentle and quiet spirit that God considers precious. And I will.

But then I thought that I need to show it to you. The women who visit my site because they are broken by the effects of pornography. You. The one who doesn't feel pretty. Who doesn't feel attractive. Who feels like she has to TRY SO HARD to be someone you're not b...

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5 Things You Shouldn't Assume about Your Husband's Addiction

July 9, 2014

#5 Don't assume he's got it under control.

If he had it under control, he wouldn't be breaking your heart with his confessions right now. One of the worst things you can do for your husband is be naive. He needs you. Pornography addiction is a big deal. As much as society wants to down-play its effects by making it the butt of every joke on television, pornography warps your mind and is a very serious matter. Your husband will not be able to beat this by simply saying “I don't want to do thi...

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When Your Thoughts Take You Hostage

July 9, 2014

There's something that had been festering in my soul. A question that I've had about my husband's past sin that has been tormenting me. We've been redeemed and restored for several years now but recently I had a thought that took me hostage. A thought that I wasn't able to shake. As much as I've tried not to dwell on the past, I wasn't able to get rid of this doubt that was flooding my soul.

So what did I do with it? Here I was, this woman who has overcome so much in my marriage and person...

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Keep Calm and Glorify God

June 10, 2014

This Sunday my husband preached a sermon that struck me to the core. Not because he's my husband (although I do think he's pretty great) but because the Word of the God is a two-edged sword! Gavin has been preaching through John for the last 40 weeks or so and this Sunday he was on  John 6:16-21.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, this is the story of Jesus walking on the water. And I wanted to share a portion of the transcript from his sermon with you because I really think it will bless ...

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Words to Live By

May 21, 2014

Suffering has been weighing heavy on my lately. We live in a broken world full of broken people trying to survive broken marriages with broken hearts. And I get emails or calls or texts from several people every week, sometimes several times a day who are desperate. Desperate for even a glimmer of hope. And no matter how many books you've read or resources you've found, there's nothing that shines a light into the darkness of despair better than the Holy Scriptures. God's Word is alive and br...

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