I recently found out that FIVE Christian couples we know are getting divorced and several of them involved sexual betrayal. I was shocked. It was like the Twilight Zone and people we once knew seemed unrecognizable. What happened to them? They seemed to have it all together and loving the Lord and then suddenly they are acting incredibly selfish and destroying their families! And some close friends of ours (who also knew these couples and were also in shock) asked about their own marriage, "Is this going to happen to us??"
And I got to thinking about it and the answer is: it could! It absolutely could. If we are not diligent. It's like that Casting Crowns song... marriages don't crumble in a day, it's a slow fade. It's years of not pursuing each other. Years of isolation instead of intimacy. Years of nagging instead of encouragement. Years of bitterness and resentment built up instead of honest conversations. Years spent running rampant and keeping busy with school, jobs, housework, kids, without stopping to spend time with the Lord. Years spent without praying for each other. It's years of secrets and no accountability. Years of unforgiveness and discontentment. It's years of lies that unfold and you wonder, what happened??! And a family that once seemed like it had it all together is torn apart.
And yes, it COULD
happen to our marriages. If we are not diligent.
We need to be purposeful about our marriages. Not take them for granted. That person we married will not always love us just because they said they would. Love is not a guarantee. It's something that has to be nurtured and tended to. It's an action that we have to put effort into.
We need to pursue our spouse. Let them know we think of them often. Show them we love them through our words and our actions. Romance them!
We need to be honest with our spouse. Have honest conversations and not keep secrets or hide our feelings. Discuss what's bothering us in a humble and loving way.
We need to have intimacy. Spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Not isolate ourselves in our work, child-rearing, phones, facebook, tablets, kindles, television, or anything else that becomes a barrier between us and the one we love.
We need to spend time with the Lord. Pray together. Read God's Word together- alone and as a couple. We need to center our marriage on Christ, and how can we do that if we are not spending time with Him?
We need to have accountability. Friends who will lovingly and humbly come along-side each other and help each other get back on track.
We need to be content. Content with our spouse, our kids, our home, and the point in life that God has placed us. God has us here in this moment for a reason and we need to be content and happy to be here.
We need to forgive. We can't hold grudges, harbor bitterness and resentment, but rather let-it-go! We can't keep picking each other apart and not allowing the other person to get past those mistakes that they're trying to change.
So let’s not let our marriages be next month’s shocking news. Let’s be purposeful in our marriages and let’s get out relationships centered on Christ!
Walking in Freedom,
Tags: diligence divorce purposeful christ marriage
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