who cling to worthless idols
forfeit the grace that could be theirs.
Sexual betrayal in a marriage can cause worthless idols to surface in the life of a hurting spouse. For me, there were several. As I learned more and more about my husband’s secret, I found myself focusing more and more on appearances and performances. My physical appearance to my husband. My marriage’s appearance to on-lookers. My physical performance in the bedroom. They became idols to me that I clung to for far too long. And because I was so focused on these appearances and performances, I missed out. I forfeited grace that could have been mine. Instead of letting Jesus heal these wounds and giving me an abundance of grace to get through the pain, I took on the monumental mistake of trying to fulfill these so called “requirements” that my hurting heart believed. My body had to look a certain way, therefore I killed myself at the gym five days a week and spent less time with my children. Worthless idol. My clothes and hair had to be just right, therefore I ran up my credit cards in order to buy what I thought I needed. Worthless idol. My marriage had to appear picture perfect to outsiders, therefore I made myself sick trying to hide all the pain, trying to keep his secret a secret. Worthless idol. My physical performance in the bedroom had to overshadow that of porn stars, therefore I attempted to mimic pornography because that’s what I thought my husband needed to be aroused and sexually satisfied. Worthless idol.
In my attempts to find healing all by myself, I became consumed with idolatry. I was forfeiting the grace God was ready to give me, forsaking the steadfast love God had prepared for my marriage, abandoning the mercy God was willing to so freely pour out on my husband. My husband and I have found healing and restoration in our marriage. But when I look back at all the worthless idols I clung to, I can’t help but wonder how much better could it have been? How much sooner could I have forgiven him? How much easier could this process have been if I would have given up control, deserted my idols to simply rest within God’s grace? Clinging to His steadfast love, knowing that He is sovereign over my husband and our marriage. How many more women could I have had the opportunity to minister to? God provides us with what we need to overcome any heartache. Including the pain of sexual betrayal. But when we focus on the worthless idols of appearances or performances, we forfeit the grace that could be ours in our greatest time of need for it!
Maybe you say you don’t struggle with appearances or performance like I did (which I highly doubt if your husband has been unfaithful. I haven’t met a woman yet who doesn’t struggle with these things, even if her husband has not looked at porn or committed adultery!). But maybe your worthless idol is control. Controlling your husband, your children, your finances, your home, your church. Controlling because you don’t actually trust that God can handle it or that He’s made anyone else capable other than you. Or maybe your worthless idol is something tangible. Like food. Or wine. Things that comfort you when you are stressed out or feeling sad and lonely. Things that take the edge off. Whatever it may be, when you cling to these worthless idols and allow them to reign, you forfeit God’s grace. Something we all so desperately need.
As I sit here typing this, I am wholly convicted by my lack of worship and the surplus of idolatry that still remains in my heart. Sure my idols have changed since I first began this healing process, but they are still there. Worthless as ever. And I am still missing out. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of missing out. I’m tired of how hard everything is because I have to be in control. Because I don’t trust God enough to handle my life, my husband, my children, my finances. I’m not saying that a life without idolatry is easy. No. But I am saying that a life of forfeited grace is much harder. Life is hard enough, why not let God’s grace flow? Why not embrace this unmerited gift of divine favor in my life instead of pushing it aside to try and figure things out on my own? I’m done clinging to these idols. I need God’s grace and I need it abundantly.
Walking in Freedom,
Tags: ""jonah 2:8"" healing idolatry grace
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