Satan is the Father of Lies. It is his goal to keep humanity in bondage to sin and shame. What is his tactic? LIE! That’s all he has. Lies on top of lies, smothered in deceit, all dolled up with trickery, wrapped in treachery, all masquerading as truth. The very essence of temptation to sin is a lie. The enemy convinces us that something is good or worthwhile, harmless, or even necessary. And we take the bait. It’s cruel and vicious. But nonetheless, our reality. Our lives are plagued with lies and liars because we live in a fallen world. They’re everywhere, books, magazines, TV, movies, music, neighbors, co-workers, even family and friends. But God gives us the ability to walk in TRUTH. To hear His voice above all the voices of the enemy. Before we can see the TRUTH, I think it’s helpful to understand the lies. To understand what we’ve believed that is not of God. And for women who have been wounded by sexual sin, the lies run deep. So I came up with a list of lies that many women (or at least me!) have believed or still do believe about their husband’s sexual addiction.<?
· This is my fault.
· I am a fool for not figuring this out sooner.
· There must be something wrong with me that would make him seek pleasure in other women.
· My husband looks at porn because he’s not attracted to me.
· My husband pursues other women because I’m not exciting enough for him.
· If only I were prettier or skinnier or sexier, my husband wouldn’t be drawn to other women.
· I must not satisfy my husband sexually.
· I need to act like a porn star in order to pleasure my husband sexually.
· I need to pretend to be someone else in order to pleasure my husband sexually.
· My husband never really loved me.
· I should have never married him.
· My imperfect body will never satisfy my husband the way the women of pornography do.
· If I could just lose some weight, maybe he would desire me more.
· If I wear sexy lingerie every night, he won’t need to seek pleasure elsewhere.
· I need to control my husband’s actions, be the porn-police, so that he can’t do this ever again.
· I need to constantly watch his eyes so I know that he’s not lusting after other women.
· If I want to keep him from sinning sexually again, I need to become obsessed with questioning him and checking everything.
· Every immodestly dressed or beautiful woman is just a ticking time bomb for my husband to be ensnared again.
· If my husband sees even one sensual woman or image, his flesh will take over and he’ll run back to pornography and lust.
· I will never trust him again.
· I will never stop hurting.
· There is no hope.
· I am alone.
· God did not protect me. He’s supposed to be my “Father” and He knew how my husband would crush me but He let me marry him anyway.
· I will never be able to fully love my husband again.
· We’ve never had sex when my husband wasn’t comparing me to another woman or to pornography.
· We’ll never have sex again without the constant reminder of sexual sin in bed with us.
· Every time my husband looks at me, he wishes I was someone else.
· My husband just loves to masturbate more than have sex with me.
· Maybe if I watch pornography, I can learn the “moves” that he likes.
· My husband hates my body.
· I need to cover my body and hide in the dark so I don’t repulse my husband.
· My husband finds other women more interesting than me.
· If I try really hard to be sweet and never bring up any problems, then maybe he won’t feel the need to run away to pornography or other women.
· If only we had more money, a cleaner house, obedient children, then my husband wouldn’t need to relieve his stress through pornography.
· I can never forgive him.
· God can’t deliver him from this, it’s too powerful.
· There are sensual and immodest women and images everywhere, it’s impossible for my husband to control his eyes and take captive his thoughts.
· This has been a lifelong struggle for my husband, it will take years for him to stop and I should just wait quietly.
· I shouldn’t tell my husband that I am hurting.
· I shouldn’t ask my husband anything because he’ll just think I’m pestering him.
· It’s ridiculous to think we could ever have honest communication after all this.
· Our whole marriage is built on lies.
· Nothing in our marriage has been real or good.
· My son is doomed to these same addictions.
· My husband has never enjoyed me.
· I am just too emotional.
· If I cry my husband will just feel condemned and turn back to his addiction.
There’s more. I’m sure you could add twenty or so lies that you, too, have believed through all this. But the point is, Satan wants to keep us trapped in a pit of despair, shame, and insecurity. He wants nothing more than to keep us from uniting with our husband, to keep us from helping our husband pursue purity. He wants us to become bitter, to retaliate, to disrespect and punish our husband, and to spend the rest of our lives in turmoil. But God has a much better plan. He wants us to have life and life abundantly. To love and cherish our husband, to forgive and learn to respect him once more. To be a tool of rescue and restoration for our husband. God wants to lavish His blessings our marriage and grow our love and intimacy exponentially. The TRUTH is that there is no man beyond the grip of God’s grace. There is no sin beyond the power of God’s forgiveness. There is no marriage beyond the tender mending of God’s mercy. And there is no broken heart that His wounds can’t heal.
Walking in Freedom,
Tags: lies truth ""the enemy"" pornography lust adultery restoration healing
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