I recently discovered a great blog, Secure in Him, by Malinda Donelle that offers encouragement and biblical advice for women who’ve been wounded by sexual sin. Malinda has her own story to tell, you can find it at http://secureinhim.blogspot.com. In the meantime, I really enjoyed her post, “Made to Crave,” which has some very similar ideas to what John & Stasi Eldgredge teach through their Captivating study. I think they are all on the right track. There’s much more to Eve that the Church has yet to discover. By studying Eve, we can learn a great deal about our own lives and what God intended for women; what He intended for marriage and intimacy. “The vast desire and capacity a woman has for intimate relationships tells us of God's vast desire and capacity for intimate relationships. In fact, this may be the most important thing we ever learn about God--that He yearns for relationship with us. "Now this is eternal life: that they may know You, the only true God" (John 17:3). The whole story of the Bible is a love story between God and His people. He yearns for us. He cares. He has a tender heart” (Stasi Eldgredge, Captivating). We are made to desire intimacy. God created us that way. But because of sin, our search for genuine intimacy with God and each other has been tainted and warped into something that it was never intended to be…
“Could it be, because of what happened in the Garden of Eden, things changed for us as wives and if we are not careful we can let it control who we are and who we become in our marriage? Ever thought about it? Me, neither. What was God's original plan for His daughters, for wives?? Are the desires I have towards my husband the same ones Eve had towards Adam? I believe the answer is no....at least not in the beginning. Here is what I see.
Eve was fully content. She had perfect fellowship with God and with her husband. She was secure, confident in who she was. She was naked and unashamed. There was no fear.
She was Adam's helper; she did not feel like she had to compete for his love or attention, she did not even know what that looked like because there was no sin...no lust, and no Hollywood. She did not feel the need to control him to protect herself.....she was loved fully and completely by her Creator and she knew it. His presence surrounded her like a glove. The love she had for Adam was an overflow of the love she experienced from her Father. Pure, undefiled, agape love... She knew her Father's love was faithful and true. That is, until the serpent came and spoke to her, and it went downhill from there. She became full of doubt towards God. Suddenly, her trust in Him wavered. Ever have trouble trusting Him? Hmmm, so did Eve. Did God really say??? If you eat then you will be like God, you will know as God knows.....was God holding out on her? And with that, she saw and she ate, disobeying her Creator. You know the story. She listened to the serpent and she gave into her insecurities and her pride right there, in the garden.
What was one of the results/consequences of that choice? AND THE WOMEN WILL DESIRE (CRAVE) her husband and he will rule over her (Gen 3:16). Some commentaries say that this is the desire for a woman to RULE over a man, that this is where equal rights and the feminist movement came into the picture. That is why we are told in the New Testament to be submissive to our husbands. So I continued to search and they all said about the same thing...but then I found it-what I felt like God had showed me… it said that desire in this verse meant.... to CRAVE the LOVE of her HUSBAND. I also saw somewhere that desire here is like a disease. There it was.... sound familiar? What I want to look at is what does it say to me, personally? So, it's Eve's fault (gotta blame somebody, right?).
I have an unhealthy desire and craving for my husband. With it brings insecurity like none other. Add unfaithfulness, betrayal, porn addiction, and the world's view of beauty to the mix and you have a woman who will NEVER be who God created her to be without HIS divine intervention.
Think about why women get caught up in unhealthy relationships and lifestyles...they are craving LOVE. Why did the Lord show me this? Not sure I know all of the reasons yet but I believe one reason is to help me to see that even though my husband has had his struggles, they have only added to the insecurities that were already in my heart. God's original plan was for me to hunger and thirst after HIM, to seek His Kingdom first. To be complete, secure, and whole in Him alone. To be content in His extravagant love for me. I was made to CRAVE HIM. Only out of that secure love can I love my husband with a healthy love. Not tainted by self, pride, insecurity, pain, betrayal, suspicions, jealousy, ect. BUT the good news is....when Jesus died on the cross he delivered me from the consequences of what happened in the garden. I do not HAVE to live this way. I can love my husband from a PURE heart and not be ruled by unhealthy cravings and desires. I can be secure in who I am in Christ.”
Walking in Freedom,
Tags: eve intimacy ""malinda donelle"" ""secure in him"" crave love
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