I find more and more that I struggle with a one track mind. Something happens in my life and I focus so much on that one thing that I lose focus of the Lord. Whether it’s my kids, my house, my marriage, my restoration, my ministry, my health, whatever… I often allow my circumstances to distract me from my worship. I’m not saying any of these things are bad; raising my children, keeping up our home, working diligently on my marriage, praying for restoration, serving in ministry, staying healthy… these are all good things. When done unto the Lord. But so often I get caught up in what I’m doing and I only invite God in when things get tough. I struggle with seeking Him first; above all else.
Recently while praying, I realized that I have become “that” woman. The woman with a cause. And I’ve allowed my cause to be glorified more than my Christ. Oh, my cause is good. To see women find healing after being sexually betrayed by their spouse. To see men find freedom from sexual sin and the tormenting bondage that has controlled their lives. To see marriages and families restored and transformed into glorious relationships that are built on genuine love, trust, and affection. That’s a great cause. A cause that I believe God has placed on my heart. But through my ministering to others and through my own journey, I feel as though I’ve allowed that cause to be my motivation. Not Jesus. And that’s not right. I’m so focused on getting the message of healing to the broken hearted that sometimes I forget to introduce them to the Healer Himself. I don’t want to be “that” woman.
When we first began this journey, Gavin and I were talking about how God might someday use our story to minister to others. And I remember him saying, “I don’t want to be the porn guy.” At first, I thought it was from embarrassment. But as we’ve continued in our walk, I think it’s more than that. Gavin has a great calling on his life. He’s been gifted in preaching and teaching and God is equipping him to disciple believers and lead them into a more intimate relationship with Christ. And yes, his experiences with sexual sin and recovery will be a great resource and testimony to help other men and women in their pursuit of purity. But that’s not the whole gospel. There’s more to the Christian life than sexual purity. I’ve had this one track mind and that has been my focus, but that’s not the only area of my life that needs to be given to the Lord. I can’t stop here. I can’t just be all about porn recovery. God has called me to more than that. I read in Colossians 3:17, “And whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him.” WHATEVER I do. Hmmmm. That’s a pretty big pill to swallow. That means, not only should my ministry in porn recovery and marriage restoration be done in the name of Jesus, but so should my ministry to my kids—nurturing them and training them to honor God and serve others. My ministry to my husband—respecting him and serving him daily, no matter what his flaws are. My ministry to my family—keeping our house tidy and peaceful, preparing food, and making our home a place of rest and enjoyment. My ministry to myself—seeking healing and restoration in the Lord, taking care of myself physically and emotionally, keeping my spiritual walk close to Christ. My ministry to the church—serving others with the gifts and talents God has given me to help build them up spiritually, care for them physically, and edify them emotionally. All things should be done in the name of the Lord, Jesus Christ, while giving thanks to God the Father. That’s who I want to be. That woman. And truly, that woman does have a one track mind. But hers is focused solely on Jesus. Everything else she does comes as an outpouring of worship and love for the Lord. That’s the woman I want to be. That’s the woman God created me to be.
Walking in Freedom,
Tags: ""colossians 3:17"" jesus focus mind healing woman
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