Jesus came to pardon our sins, but He also came to heal the brokenhearted so we can walk in freedom. Freedom from pain, guilt, shame, sin, and condemnation. By His wounds we are healed. May God continue to bless us on the path to complete restoration and healing in Him.
Can a man be truly repentant (turning from his sin) if he is
not regenerate (a Christian)? This is a difficult question to answer.
While a man may be aware that what he's doing is wrong or that it's
displeasing to his wife, he's not aware that it's offensive to God
and he's in need of a Savior. God must intervene on that man's
behalf. Man is not aware of their need for Salvation or for God,
until God reveals Himself to them. And so there's something to be
said about a man who is open to changing his “bad habits” or
“turn over a new leaf” when it comes to pornography, but
unfortunately there will be no true repentance or internal heart
change without Christ. The battle against pornography is just as much
a spiritual one as it is a physical.
If your husband is not a
Christian, sobriety may seem like an uphill battle. But don't lose
hope. If he is willing to try to make a change that's wonderful. The
physical boundaries are a good place to start, ie. filters
and accountability software, support
groups, counseling, reading recovery books, etc. Definitely do
whatever you can to help him set-up those physical boundaries that
will help change the behavior. We have suggested several wonderful
resources on our “Books and Resources” page. You can also read
through some of the blog posts “For Men” that will have great
resources that can help him set up boundaries and change his
physical behavior. We highly recommend The
Game Plan by Joe Dallas. It's a 30-day workbook that will help
him find sexual integrity and sobriety. It is written from a
Christian perspective but is also very practical with a lot of
benchmarks on this road to recovery.
Aside from that, you can't
legislate religion. You can't “require” your husband to seek God.
That doesn't work. But you and your church family need to start
praying for his spiritual eyes to be awakened to his depravity so
that he can truly have a changed heart. God is a God of
reconciliation. Pray for deliverance, pray for healing, pray for
reconciliation and restoration. PRAY. That said, MOST recovery books
that you use WILL be spiritual in nature. So if he's agreed to use
those resources that is great news. God can use those resources to
help draw your husband to a place of brokenness and true repentance.
Don't lose hope.
Walking in Freedom,
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