I very rarely think about porn any more. That sounds like such a strange sentence but the truth is, I used to be obsessed with porn. Not using it, but rather defeating it. I was so obsessed with my husband's addiction and with overcoming this tremendous pain that pornography was often on my mind. And all the lies and “what ifs” that burdened my heart almost seemed unbearable. But as time went on, those thoughts began to fade. My husband maintained his sobriety (3+ years sober!) and our marriage continued to heal and be restored. There was less and less fighting, less and less crying, less and less questions; It was like I began to forget the pain of porn.
But the enemy hasn't forgotten.
No. The Apostle Peter tells us that the enemy is like a lion on the prowl looking for someone to devour. “Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (1st Peter 5:8).
My husband may be sober and has moved on from his addiction to pornography. But the enemy hasn't moved on. The enemy knows that pornography has such addictive properties that it only takes one slip and he'd hooked. He knows that it creates a physical and physiological dependency within the user, just like drugs, and it literally changes how his brain functions. He knows that there are pornographic and sensual images everywhere and he knows how to bombard him with them. He knows how to tempt him. He knows how place thoughts and whisper lies to him. And he knows that if there's one way to kill my husband, it will be through pornography. My husband is a pastor, a husband, and a father. All three of these aspects of his life would be devastated by a relapse into porn. The enemy knows this and has not forgotten the hold it once had on my husband.
I may have found healing from the pain of my husband’s betrayal and moved on from that stage of anger and hurt. But the enemy hasn't moved on. The enemy knows how much my husband's sin ravaged my thought life. He knows that I was filled with feelings of shame, despair, hatred, bitterness and resentment. He knows what causes me to fear, what makes my heart stop and my mind to think “what if?” He knows how to tempt me to drudge up all those painful memories and stew over them. And he knows that if there's one way to kill my marriage, it will be through an unforgiving, bitter, and angry wife. I am a wife and a mother; and my life would be turned upside down by revisiting all that old pain. The enemy knows this and has not forgotten how easily derailed I can be.
The Bible tells us in John 10:10 that the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy. He wants to steal my husband away with promises of false intimacy and pornographic fantasy. He wants to kill our marriage and our family. He wants to destroy my husband's ministry and his reputation. Which is why Peter warns us to be sober-minded and watchful. We have to be ever diligent in this fight for our freedom from the chains of pornography. Just because my husband is sober and our marriage is restored does not mean it's easy sailing. It does not mean we can just stop trying. It does mean that we will have to persevere for the rest of our lives. That we will have to pursue purity with all that we are and all that we have. That we must continue to focus on Jesus and never allow the enemy even an inch when it comes to sexual immorality. We must continue to wage war. The battle isn’t over. The enemy hasn't forgotten.
Walking in Freedom,
Tags: porn pornography ""sexual immorality"" ""1st peter 5:8"" devil enemy lion sobriety healing restoration ""john 10:10""
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