Jesus came to pardon our sins, but He also came to heal the brokenhearted so we can walk in freedom. Freedom from pain, guilt, shame, sin, and condemnation. By His wounds we are healed. May God continue to bless us on the path to complete restoration and healing in Him.
of the most common questions I get when I am contacted by a wife
who's husband has been addicted to pornography is this: what is
so wrong with me?
This is very common because as
women, we tend to take on the responsibility of completely satisfying
our husband's every want and need. We basically try to be their god.
And we think we're doing a pretty good job. Until we discover a
secret like pornography addiction and we realize that we're not their
god. We realize that we're not able to satisfy their every want and
need. And then somehow that equates to something being wrong with us.
We're not pretty enough. We're not available enough. We're not
sexually curious enough. We're too fat. We expect too much (although
I do agree with this one but for other reasons!). We nag too much.
But in reality, we were never meant to satisfy our husband's every
want and need. First of all, some of those “wants” are sinful and
shouldn't be satisfied. And second, only Christ can fully satisfy a
person's needs. You can't be his god. Instead, you need to point him
to THE GOD who can deliver him from his addiction.
God didn't create you to be an
object for your husband to use and mistreat. He didn't create you to
be a “do-girl” to satisfy your husband's every want and need. He
created you to be a helpmate for your husband. To stand by his side
and be there for him through thick and thin (and right now things are
pretty thick!). He created you to respect your husband and to show
him the love of Christ through your actions and your words. He
created you to enjoy companionship with your husband and to enjoy sex
with him as well. Your sex life was not meant to be a check-list of
all the things you need to do in order to satisfy his every lust.
That's not a relationship. That's not a partnership. God created you
to compliment your husband (not as in flattery but as in complete).
Together your compliment each other. Where he's weak, you can be
strong. Where you're weak, he can be strong. And you both should find
your strength in Christ. God created the wife to be a wonderful gift
for the husband to treasure, love, nurture, and take care of; not use
and mistreat. And He created the husband to be a wonderful gift for
the wife to treasure, love, respect, and help.; not disrespect and
demand. It's supposed to be a relationship that works together but
depends fully on GOD.
Where we've gone wrong is we
take God out of the picture and instead of depending on Him, we
depend on our spouse. And when our spouse betrays us, we are deeply
broken because we don't have the strong relationship with God to lean
on. So. Let me wrap this up with a nice little bow so all my
ramblings make more sense...
Your husband didn't look at
pornography because something is wrong with you.
He looked at pornography because
he allowed his heart to be drawn away from GOD.
If his heart was near to God,
his heart would also be near to you.
A marriage that is healthy is a
marriage that depends on God.
You can't satisfy your husband's
every want and need.
You're not God.
Let God be God.
Walking in Freedom,
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