Jesus came to pardon our sins, but He also came to heal the brokenhearted so we can walk in freedom.  Freedom from pain, guilt, shame, sin, and condemnation. By His wounds we are healed. May God continue to bless us on the path to complete restoration and healing in Him.  

What's so Wrong with Me?

Posted by Kristina Croft on Sunday, December 8, 2013

One of the most common questions I get when I am contacted by a wife who's husband has been addicted to pornography is this: what is so wrong with me?

This is very common because as women, we tend to take on the responsibility of completely satisfying our husband's every want and need. We basically try to be their god. And we think we're doing a pretty good job. Until we discover a secret like pornography addiction and we realize that we're not their god. We realize that we're not able to satisfy their every want and need. And then somehow that equates to something being wrong with us. We're not pretty enough. We're not available enough. We're not sexually curious enough. We're too fat. We expect too much (although I do agree with this one but for other reasons!). We nag too much. But in reality, we were never meant to satisfy our husband's every want and need. First of all, some of those “wants” are sinful and shouldn't be satisfied. And second, only Christ can fully satisfy a person's needs. You can't be his god. Instead, you need to point him to THE GOD who can deliver him from his addiction.

God didn't create you to be an object for your husband to use and mistreat. He didn't create you to be a “do-girl” to satisfy your husband's every want and need. He created you to be a helpmate for your husband. To stand by his side and be there for him through thick and thin (and right now things are pretty thick!). He created you to respect your husband and to show him the love of Christ through your actions and your words. He created you to enjoy companionship with your husband and to enjoy sex with him as well. Your sex life was not meant to be a check-list of all the things you need to do in order to satisfy his every lust. That's not a relationship. That's not a partnership. God created you to compliment your husband (not as in flattery but as in complete). Together your compliment each other. Where he's weak, you can be strong. Where you're weak, he can be strong. And you both should find your strength in Christ. God created the wife to be a wonderful gift for the husband to treasure, love, nurture, and take care of; not use and mistreat. And He created the husband to be a wonderful gift for the wife to treasure, love, respect, and help.; not disrespect and demand. It's supposed to be a relationship that works together but depends fully on GOD.

Where we've gone wrong is we take God out of the picture and instead of depending on Him, we depend on our spouse. And when our spouse betrays us, we are deeply broken because we don't have the strong relationship with God to lean on. So. Let me wrap this up with a nice little bow so all my ramblings make more sense...

Your husband didn't look at pornography because something is wrong with you.

He looked at pornography because he allowed his heart to be drawn away from GOD.

If his heart was near to God, his heart would also be near to you.

A marriage that is healthy is a marriage that depends on God.

You can't satisfy your husband's every want and need.

You're not God.

Let God be God.

Walking in Freedom,


Tags: god  healing  restoration  marriage  husband  wife  pornography  addiction  satisfaction  needs  wants  sex  love  relationships 
comments powered by Disqus

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner

Make a free website with Yola